Reasonable Expectations

My daughter is 6 years old. There are times when she seems more like a teenager, blaring her music so her dad and I have to go tell her to turn it down. There are times when she seems much younger, looking at me with big eyes and asking for cuddle time. We have decided that even though she isn't a teenager by any stretch, she isn't a baby anymore either and so we need to come up with some reasonable expectations for her.

The problem comes in when we can't agree on what reasonable expectations are. My dh wants to expect her to keep her room clean with no help and no reminders, pick her dishes up, not leave food or cups out, and play quietly when he wants some quiet time.

I want to expect her to clean her room when she's told (which I think should be every night before bed), pick up her dishes, and wipe down the table after supper.

My biggest disagreements are 1) She needs gentle reminders "Alexis it's almost bedtime, pick up your room", "Did you put your dishes in the sink" while she is getting into the habit, plus she can't tell time well yet so she needs reminders of when it's getting close to bedtime. 2) We can't expect her to do things consistently if we aren't doing them consistently (putting OUR dishes in the sink when we're done eating, picking up our dirty clothes, etc)

He believes in the Do-as-I-say-not-as-I-do philosophy where I lean more towards Monkey-see-monkey-do.

So how can we find a healthy compromise. Here is what I am going to propose tomorrow, before our date night, when Alexis is at her aunt's house:

1. Get an alarm clock for in her room that has a digital display. Then write down times and things we expect to be done. Ex. 8:00 Pick up toys (with pictures to help her read)

2. Remind her at least 15 minutes before bedtime (which for the rest of this month will be 8:30 and then in August will go back to 8 which is when her bedtime is for school)

3. Daily chores: -Pick up bedroom -Wipe off table after meals -Wipe out bathtub (not clean it just run the wash cloth over it)

4. If daily chores are completed every day of the week, gets $.75

The biggest thing here is when I'm working at night he will have to remember to have her clean her room. I'm helping by giving her a way to know it's time to clean but he will still have to make sure that she does it and remind her if needed.

This is a great practice for him too. This year she will start having homework. If I am at home I will make her do it as soon as she gets home, when it is still fresh in her mind. But if I am at work then he has to remember to have her do it.

What do you think reasonable expectations are for a 6 year old, or what did you do when your child was this age? Are you a monkey see money do believer or a do as I say not as I do believer?

God bless

Ashley

Saving Money

As money has gotten increasingly tight over the last few months, Alexis has been learning the value of saving money and the importance of not wasting it on candy and donuts (her personal nickle and dimers).

She has decided she wants an American Girl doll. I knew when she said this that Mom and Dad couldn't afford to put that much money into a just because item. Plus I want her to learn the value of money and that it isn't something that is unlimited in supply.

After discussion Jaime and I have decided that for keeping her room clean and wiping out the tub (she's the only one who uses the tub, the shower is in the basement) she will earn $.50 per week. Not much in the grand scheme but it's something. I will also offer her odd jobs around the house (like drying dishes with Mommy after a big meal) for random amounts of money. Thanks to Sarah at SmallWorldI have a better plan. I'll let her tell you about her system for this.

Jaime and I have also been trying to save money. Christmas tends to come up out of nowhere and you never know when you could use a little extra. My favorite way to earn money for Christmas is Swagbucks. You earn points for searching the web, participating in polls and surveys, and having the toolbar. I have redeemed the points for Amazon gift cards but there are Itunes cards, Best buy gift cards and a multitude of other prizes. You should check it out at that link up there and sign up. It's great!

I also have been finding random things around the house that we don't need or want anymore and listing it on Craigslist. It's not much either but as long as I put it away it could add up to some fun money.

What are your favorite ways to save a little bit of money?

God bless,

Ashley