Modest Dress

My sister and I got into a discussion today.

We are both growing as Christian mothers, wives and women. And I have been led towards looking at my clothing choices since I haven't been working. While I was working I was wearing scrubs and those are pretty modest. However since then I have noticed that my shorts seem a little short, my shirts a little low or have key hole necklines.

This is not how I want to be perceived. I don't want to dress in such a way that it encourages other husbands to look at me. And so I started discussing this with my sister.

Her response startled me a little. I was always the less modest of the two of us and more likely to blame it on the day and age we live in. She told me that she doesn't show much for cleavage but she does live in the 21st century.

This took me back a little bit. And it gave me a challege. Could I find, in the stores that I shop on a regular basis, skirts, shirts and dresses that were modest without looking outdated or frumpy? And, to take it one step further, could I find a cute, short sleeve cardigan that could be worn over some of the dresses with smaller straps.

My answer, yes, yes I can. Here are a few of my favorites with where I found them:

This dress is from Maurices! I love the color and even though you can't see it on this picture it has an amazing button up back that is gorgeous.

This dress from JCPenney's is a great fun dress. I love the polka dots!

This is another dress from JCPenney's. I love this dress for taking the kids places.

This is a great cardigan for over some of the dresses and tops that aren't as modest as we would prefer. From Banana Republic

This one is from Old Navy. I love the chevron stripes and I think it would be a great skirt to wear to a picnic for the 4th of July.

I love the green of this top from Target.

I thought I would add a swimsuit. This is very similar to what mine looks like, from Target, and I'm going to get a cover up similar to the one below, from Younkers.

While I wouldn't approve of this as a dress I think we all agree that at the pool this covers much more than most.

 


I hope this has given you hope if you felt the same as my sister! Where do you love to shop for your modest clothing? What is your must have item to make any outfit modest? What is your opinion on swimwear.

God bless

Ashley

Finding my niche

I'll readily admit that I'm not good at this whole stay at home parent job. I have always had the ultimate respect for those parents (because let's face it, it's men and women nowadays) who could stay at home. I know there is more to it than sitting on the couch, watching TV and snacking all day.

It's not the housecleaning, the working on school things with Alexis, it's not even being home all day.

It's the lack of adult face-to-face socialization. It's the fact that there are times I'm finding busy work just to keep my hands busy. It's the constant need to be doing more.

When I worked full time I also kept my house. I worked on school things with Alexis. I have so much more time to do this all now that I keep upping my standards of what is acceptable.

Before as long as dishes were done before dinner, I was content. Now I want dishes done after every meal. And when dishes are done not only should all the counters and table be wiped down, but then I need to sweep.

Before as long as I vacuumed twice a week, I was happy. Now I want the living room vacuumed every day and the hall and bedrooms done every other day.

Before as long as the laundry was done on Sunday, I was satisfied. Now I don't want a full basket of laundry waiting on me.



Before if my flat surfaces were mostly clear during the week, I could look over the rest. Now I am constantly walking in circles as I find things on counters that need to be picked up, put away, thrown away.

And even this isn't keeping me busy all day.

It's summer vacation and Alexis still reads a book everyday, writes a paragraph, and does 15 minutes of math. I am planning day trips to places like Reiman gardens to learn about the necessities of plants, the farmer's market to learn about different types of fruits and vegetables.

I have high goals set for myself. The thing is if I set my mind to it, I can accomplish them. And if I set my goals lower, than I'll accept lower. I want to show my husband that I'm not just laying around doing nothing. And what constantly runs through my head is:

"Idle hands are the Devil's playground"

I don't know if God's plan is for me to become a stay at home parent, to be home for this summer with my daughter, or to get me into a healthier work environment than I was. I'm trusting God to lead me where He wants me to be. I pray every day that He will lead us in the right direction and if I am to be a stay at home parent, to lead me to a way to bring in the necessary income for our family to survive and thrive. I pray that if He wants me to rejoin the workforce that He will help lead me to the type of job where I can do what He wants me to do. I have faith that the Lord will lead me where I am suppose to be and that He will bring peace and acceptance to my husband and I for whatever He believes I should be doing.

In God's wisdom, as I was rereading this post I realized that there is a song that fits this moment perfectly for me. Check it out, it's called He Said by Group 1 Crew.

Please keep me in your prayers. And if you have any suggestions for things to teach my soon-to-be first grader over the summer or projects that you know you forget about unless reminded, please comment.

God bless

Ashley

Camping

It was a great weekend, and I hope everyone had as much fun as I did.

We got out to our 'camp site' Saturday morning. The great thing about our camp site was, it was in our best friend's back yard, so we had modern plumbing, air conditioning for the heat sensitive (me) to retreat to, and a place to run when the tent became a lake.

We set up the pool for the kids, and adults, which turned into a God send by late afternoon when even sitting in the shade around the fire pit (that didn't have a fire yet) was horribly hot. The adults took turns dipping their heads in the pool, and hoping that TJ didn't shove us into the pool head first.

We grilled every meal we ate that required cooking. We even cooked our pancakes on the grill with a huge cast iron skillet. We roast marshmallows both nights. We had a huge fire.

I definitely thanked God for good friends that we could unwind with and happy children that were enjoying each other's company. Here are the pictures that we had uploaded, there are a million more on a camera but this will suffice...

Have a great week everyone.

God Bless

Ashley

Humane War...On Rabbits

My dh went out this morning to check on our vegetable garden. This is our first garden and we are very proud and enthusiastic about it. This one is meant just to have fresh produce to eat from, my parents and my sister have massive gardens that we will use to can from. However 2 of my 3 broccoli plants have been ate clear down and one has completely disappeared.

Apparently they like broccoli plants better than hostas, which is what they ate LAST year.

I don't want the rabbits eating my garden, however I also don't want to kill the rabbits. I have issues with using poisons, insecticides, herbicides, especially close to plants I intend to eat from. It has drove my dh crazy for the last year as I have insisted that he didn't use them.

Plus I do believe that rabbits are God's creatures the same as any other creature. If he were to shoot them, I would feel like we needed to eat them and I'm not overly fond of rabbit. It is very...gamey.

And so I have been looking for natural rabbit repellents. I will let you know what works and what doesn't as I figure it out myself.

As to the weekend, I am going 'camping' at my best friend's house. It works well that they have kids that Alexis likes to play with, and Jaime is friends with the husband. We all will have people to hang out with.

I'm going to talk to Alexis on Monday about why we celebrate Memorial Day. She doesn't need to lose sight of the reason, or think that it's National BBQ and Camp day. If you have any resources I can use, I would greatly appreciate them.

Have a fun and safe Memorial Day everyone.








God bless

Ashley

Clean Comedy?

Does this even exist anymore?

My dh was watching an adult cartoon, that I won't name because I don't want to end up with a lawsuit and in today's day and age who knows what can cause someone to sue you, and it had a running joke, throughout the entire 30 minutes, about bulimia. Although I have never had this eating disorder, nor have I known anyone with it, this was deeply offensive to me. It is not humorous to take a serious, and potentially deadly, disease and crack jokes about it. While this cartoon is marketed to adults, it is ran during regular daylight hours, it was only 5 or 5:30 when we were watching it, which means teenagers watch it.

I know I am running into a potential debate here. Censoring television, movies, music, etc vs parents instilling values into their children so they know it is wrong. There is also the fact that my husband was watching this show. So allow me to state a few of my personal views here...

1. I do believe parents are ultimately responsible for what their children watch, read, hear, etc.
2. I believe that parents instill the values into their children about what is right and wrong. (A killing game or movie should not be held accountable because a teenager goes out and shoots a bunch of people. Nor are his or her parents necessarily wrong. Children chose whether or not to follow what is right and wrong)
3. I believe that as adults we can better understand what is and isn't meant to be taken seriously.

However I also feel that some things go outside the realm of what is funny. Just like making jokes about mentally handicapped people have become taboo, this to me should be. Saying that bulimia is hard on the internal organs but makes a person look great IS NOT FUNNY. I can't believe that anyone finds it funny, but they apparently do.

Eating disorders are a serious epidemic in this country. The self esteem of our young people have been demolished by unrealistic expectations. Watch 1 hour of TV, on almost any channel that isn't cartoons, and you will see diet commercials, weight loss commercials. Look at the magazines in the rack next time you check out at the grocery store. If the covers don't have a stick thin model on them, they have a celebrity with contemplation about "Is she pregnant or just putting on weight." Our younger generation is surrounded by an unhealthy ideal.

And so lets add in sick jokes on TV. While we may not let OUR children watch these shows, what about the kid who does and then goes to school and repeats it, maybe not even understanding what a hideous comment it is.

I want to be able to watch a comedian or a comedy that has CLEAN humor. That if my daughter were to walk into the room while it was on, I wouldn't be scrambling for the remote or the off switch. That my daughter could even curl up with me and watch it with me. Is that so much to ask?

God bless,

Ashley

A heaping helping of humble pie

I recently lost my job. This is a shock for my system as I have been home for the last month, desperately seeking employment. I haven't been not working or going to school in years. I don't know how to stay home and be content.

Let me tell you I'm eating a huge portion of humble pie, and I believe that is why the Lord has led me to this point.

I have been an independent woman who believed that she didn't need to submit to any man. That's how my dad raised me. I didn't need a man and I surely wasn't going to let any man tell me how to live my life. Especially when I was bringing in an equal amount of money as my husband, why should he get to tell me how to live my life.

Since attending church and a few women's retreats I have been asking God to help me learn how to be a biblical wife, to submit to my husband in all things. I never dreamed that he would chose this way to answer my prayers, but answer my prayers he did.

Since I'm not bringing in any money now, I have had to pare down, discuss purchases (beyond the daily bills and necessary food expenses) with my husband because WE would have to deal with the outcome and HE is the one bringing in the money and in charge of making sure our family is provided for. I have learned that my husband is my leader, whether I agree with his choices or not. If his choices aren't going to harm our family, I obey him in all things.

The other part of this humble pie I'm having to swallow is that I am in charge of keeping house. Of making meals for us all. For keeping laundry done. For keeping the house clean. When Jaime comes home, after working 8 hours of hard work in a factory, he should not have to pick up after our child, he should not have to do the dishes, he should be able to do things that bring him peace. And so I am learning to take on the sole role of homemaker. He helps, especially on the weekend, but I don't expect it.

I'm also learning to swallow my irritation when I don't feel like he is appreciating what I am doing. It's not that he doesn't appreciate it, it's that it the status quo, what he believes I should be doing. And so he notices that it's done but just like his boss doesn't tell him "good job" every time he does what he's suppose to be doing, he doesn't tell me. And in the end, while I am doing it for my husband and daughter, I'm ultimately doing it because God said I was to be the homemaker, the helper of my husband. And God sees what I do, and I will ultimately get the eternal rewards for it.

God led me to another blog that helped me this morning when I was feeling used and abused, and this helped me put things in perspective, more than I already had. Humbling the Grumbling by Cross Moms is a great article, and I want to thank them again for helping me find my perspective, and thank You Lord for leading me to that blog post that I needed today.

God bless you all, and have a safe weekend

Ashley

Hope for me

Today was not an easy day. Well that's not completely true.

I didn't sleep last night worth a hoot, so I went back to bed after taking dd to school. I took Gpa shopping and he took me out to lunch. I made dinner. I cleaned. It was a typical day.

However I have been thinking this evening.

Alexis (who will be 6 years old on Saturday) is such a special little girl. She is so thoughtful and considerate. Not 100% of the time, did you miss the part where I said she was turning 6? But a good part of the time. A few months ago I bought her a Big Time Rush tshirt that she had been asking for. Her response? "Mom, can we get Araya (her cousin) one too, cause she really likes Big Time Rush too and she's going to be sad that she doesn't have one." She had been asking me for one for a few weeks at this point. And her first thought (after thank you) was for her cousin who she didn't want to be sad.

This past week the teacher asked us to send sunscreen to school with our kids because they were going to be walking to the park and playing games for about an hour at lunchtime. Alexis, after reminding me that she needed it and not to forget, told me that she needed to share with her friend. I said ok because I'm sure in this full, never been open bottle of sunscreen that there was enough for her friend too. She looks at me and says "He's kind of like poor and so we should share with him. He doesn't have much money and that's not his fault" I just wanted to hug her close. What does an almost 6 year old know about being poor?

I am so grateful that she has seen me doing what I can to help those less fortunate, that she has heard me when I say to think of others, that she is kind and considerate. But it also makes my heart ache for her.

We all know that kids can be cruel. We all know the days when the only way to be friends with the 'cool' kids is to be mean, to put others down. And I am so scared that my little girl, who so wants to be friends with every one and wants to make every one happy, will end up caught up in this turmoil.

I remember all too well what the teasing was like. I was on the recieving end of it for years. And she is so sweet and so soft hearted that if she was teased like that it would break her heart, and in turn mine.

All I can do is turn to God and trust that He will help her through these days ahead. That He will protect her heart and He will give me the right words to help her on the right path.

This post from MOD Squad was posted at a time I needed to know someone else out there was going through these same problems. It gave me the hope that I can't always see. And she pointed me back to Him, to God who can always be counted on. He gave me hope when He knew I needed it.

God Bless

*Insert witty title here*

I'm sitting here enjoying the quiet of the night. My family has gone to bed, I have contemporary christian music on the tv, and even my cats seem to understand and respect that I'm enjoying the quiet, the peace, the serenity of this moment.

I love my husband and my daughter. Never mistake that. However there is something about this time after they have fallen asleep that is my rejuvenation point. After hearing "Mom" a million times it is nice to have her here, safe, sound, and not needing my immediate attention. After being my husband's memory, it is nice to have him tucked into bed for the night, everything ready and prepared for the morning. After trying to be everything to everyone it is nice to sit back and know that the only thing I need to be is me.

This is the time I take to meditate, to pray, to read some motivational books, to do things I enjoy just for me. And tonight is no different.

Today was a typical day in my life. I woke my husband up to get up and out the door and off to work. I woke my daughter up to get her up and out the door and delivered safely to school. I came home and did some general pick up that needed to be done. Then, shortly after lunch, I was off to an interview.

I have to say I wish the job hiring process was different. I wish they would just say whether or not you are hired, not give vague answers like, "You should hear from us soon" or "We hope to make a decision shortly." I know, I know, they have other applicants to interview, they want to make the best decision they can, yada, yada, yada. From the applicant point of view, it sucks. You leave and weigh everything you say, everything they said, every mannerism. And, because how well can you really get to know someone in the short span of an interview, when they are on their best behavior, and more interested in deciphering you, you really end up knowing nothing even though you can't help but still trying to disect the entire interview. And the waiting begins.

After I got home my bff stopped over to pick up the left over books and clothes from the garage sale. She is going to sort them out and take most if not all of the clothes to the local clothing closet that gives all the clothes away to anyone in the community who needs them. It is a great charity and we love to help them out, especially since we've had our times when we had to use the 'closet.'

She also brought me her grinder attachment for the standing mixer. See even after cooking all day yesterday, I still had about 12 roasts, at least 20 pounds, that I needed to cook in some way. Most of the roasts were arm roasts that aren't the most tender and being my dh has dentures (and is relatively new to wearing them), tough meat doesn't work out so well. And so I ground it. All of it. It filled a roasting pan. Tomorrow I will start turning this mass of meat into meals that can go into the freezer.

After everyone fell asleep tonight I have worked on an embroidery project. It is a wall quilt square that is of birds and bird houses. After painting my living room blue and deciding on a blue and brown color scheme I have also decided that I want to use birds as my decorating theme. I love birds, and bird houses, and all the colors and options available from this very simple theme.

However the clock keeps ticking away the hours until morning comes again and I have to start all over. So good night lady bugs and fiddler boys (don't ask, sleep deprivation does silly things to me I tell you).

God bless and watch over you all

A Fridge Full of...Meat

I woke up this morning planning to reclaim my house, find clothes for my interview, embroider and take my time enjoying my family.

While all of this still is in the works, the Lord  has added some work to my load.

I was sitting in church, waiting for the pastor to begin preaching, when my phone vibrated. Because my husband was at home not feeling well I checked it to make sure he was alright. He was fine, however our deep freeze, chock full of roasts, ground beef, chicken and other meat, was not frozen. Everything was thawed, still cold, but thawed.

When I headed home from church my mind was racing. How on earth was I suppose to cook all of this meat and save it. I know that you aren't suppose to thaw and refreeze meat. I also know that you can thaw, cook and refreeze meat. And so that is my plan. However how many meals can be planned from a beef roast without making yourself sick of the same things.

So I am in the process of getting a grinder attachment for my standing blender. With this I can make roasts into ground beef. I have LOTS of freezer recipes for ground beef. Spaghetti sauce, sloppy joes, casseroles, meatloaf, and many many more.

So my day now has mopping, cooking, and reorganizing my freezer added to it. Luckily the deep freeze thawed because the plug in got jiggled. Since I had already decided to bring the litter box upstairs since my female had 5 babies on Friday, I just did it now. The cats are no longer allowed in the basement.

God never gives us more than we can handle, and this is no different. I just wanted a day of rest, God said I didn't need it today.