Friday, May 25, 2012

A heaping helping of humble pie

I recently lost my job. This is a shock for my system as I have been home for the last month, desperately seeking employment. I haven't been not working or going to school in years. I don't know how to stay home and be content.

Let me tell you I'm eating a huge portion of humble pie, and I believe that is why the Lord has led me to this point.

I have been an independent woman who believed that she didn't need to submit to any man. That's how my dad raised me. I didn't need a man and I surely wasn't going to let any man tell me how to live my life. Especially when I was bringing in an equal amount of money as my husband, why should he get to tell me how to live my life.

Since attending church and a few women's retreats I have been asking God to help me learn how to be a biblical wife, to submit to my husband in all things. I never dreamed that he would chose this way to answer my prayers, but answer my prayers he did.

Since I'm not bringing in any money now, I have had to pare down, discuss purchases (beyond the daily bills and necessary food expenses) with my husband because WE would have to deal with the outcome and HE is the one bringing in the money and in charge of making sure our family is provided for. I have learned that my husband is my leader, whether I agree with his choices or not. If his choices aren't going to harm our family, I obey him in all things.

The other part of this humble pie I'm having to swallow is that I am in charge of keeping house. Of making meals for us all. For keeping laundry done. For keeping the house clean. When Jaime comes home, after working 8 hours of hard work in a factory, he should not have to pick up after our child, he should not have to do the dishes, he should be able to do things that bring him peace. And so I am learning to take on the sole role of homemaker. He helps, especially on the weekend, but I don't expect it.

I'm also learning to swallow my irritation when I don't feel like he is appreciating what I am doing. It's not that he doesn't appreciate it, it's that it the status quo, what he believes I should be doing. And so he notices that it's done but just like his boss doesn't tell him "good job" every time he does what he's suppose to be doing, he doesn't tell me. And in the end, while I am doing it for my husband and daughter, I'm ultimately doing it because God said I was to be the homemaker, the helper of my husband. And God sees what I do, and I will ultimately get the eternal rewards for it.

God led me to another blog that helped me this morning when I was feeling used and abused, and this helped me put things in perspective, more than I already had. Humbling the Grumbling by Cross Moms is a great article, and I want to thank them again for helping me find my perspective, and thank You Lord for leading me to that blog post that I needed today.

God bless you all, and have a safe weekend


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